So one afternoon when he fell asleep i looked on his phone and saw he'd been using a site he never mentioned to me. I made an account on there myself to trick him into talking to me, this didn't work as he never messaged me back. In desperation for attention i uploaded a pic of my boobs to the site. Loas of guys messaged me, some were weird, some were hot, most were sexy, all of them wanted me though. Realising the people using this site were all up for sex i had to find out who he'd been messaging so i went to my sisters and i tried to login into his account on her computer. Luckily he had used our k**s dates of birth as his password. I got in. I was gutted, he had been telling some woman in america he loved her, all the things i wanted to hear he was saying to someone else. I also saw he had been arranging to meet a woman in warrington. She became my first friend on that site. I went home with all my new knowledge, and decided i deserved better than this, better than him. I didn't. . okay, all of y'all are through eatin' your desserts... Chet shows him what he was on 'cause he gets sick all over the Deputy, which provokes the predictable chain reaction and there we all are, dry heavin' by the side of the road with an Officer of the Lard that I'm sure was thinkin' of all the places he could hide our bodies."So I was feelin' a little more clear after purgin' and I ask the Deputy if I could speak to him a moment. I explain to him that we're just a bunch of kids goin' to Mardi Gras and we were too drunk to drive so Willie, who wasn't drunk, just a little excitable, had taken the wheel and we were awful sorry about his pants and shoes and any fine for speedin' he wanted to levy I'd be happy to pay in cash right then so we could get back on the road and out of his jurisdiction, go be someone else's problem. I mean, I'm tryin' to get out twenty words a second before his reptilian hind-brain figures out he could still kill us all, take all our money and dump our bodies.
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